M.I.A.

I have been pretty out of it the past few days so I haven't gotten around to more Hawaii posts. I can joke about my toe, but it is pretty dadgum painful - and has lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. Being on the painkillers numbs my senses and makes me a little depressed and the fact that I can't wear shoes or drive doesn't help. My kids are bouncing off the walls. I feel pretty isolated and just...dull. It's hard to explain. I am beginning to understand what consistent pain can do to someone. Last night I really wanted to go to book club, but I couldn't even walk around the corner. I have to soak twice a day and then clean it. A few people have asked me why it should hurt so much - they have lost toenails before. I think there is a big huge difference between losing it and having it forceably removed and essentially ripped off. I know that paints a very gross picture, but, this is a very painful, raw, experience. I really wouldn't wish it on anyone.